You will not fear the terror of night

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I’m writing this so it’s still fresh in my mind by the time someone asks me what my experience of sleep paralysis was like so I can remember.

You know that moment in a horror film when someone is being tortured or a person screams but the audio cuts out so you cannot hear it? The film portrays the moment like this to convey how much the person is suffering; in fact it’s so unbearable that the film cannot show you the viewer, how much they are suffering. The audio resumes once the moment is over. “God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind.” (2 Timothy 1:17) So when I experience something like that, I can call on Jesus and He will deliver me from fear. So this is what my experience was like:

I’m not normally someone who struggles to sleep due to my active and healthy lifestyle but every now and then, there can be something that keeps me awake. That’s only natural and something every person has in their lives occasionally. I’ve also heard that weird dreams are more common during lockdown. But this experience was – I don’t think – a dream. Instead it felt like I was just about to go sleep but was still awake. All of a sudden I had the sensation that something leapt on me and I could feel it on my chest. This might sound really weird but it was as if a being or presence started to wrestle with me. It was wrestling with my soul and I was struggling to break free physically. That’s the point! The being was spiritual, not physical and so I could not fight the being physically. I had to fight it in the Spirit. It only happened for about 5 seconds because of the action I took when I understood what was happening. Once before I had felt like I was slowly being squeezed at night and I said the name of Jesus. It left. I wasn’t really afraid the next day but just very aware of what had happened. This time, the fight felt more vicious. Something was angry with me and it just came over me very quickly and suddenly. The main point of focus was on my chest. When it began I actually knew what was happening and I didn’t want to fight. My mind told me that I was too tired, and for a few seconds I gritted my teeth and struggled on the bed. But I knew that I couldn’t let whatever this was stay on top of me. So I called out to Jesus in a whisper and began to speak in tongues and the pressure on my body just passed away. What was weird though – and why I made the reference to a horror film was because it was as if all sound cut out. As I was falling asleep I was aware of the sound my surroundings – gentle humming of household items and the slight ringing in your ears that we’ve all experienced. But everything went silent as this pressure hit my body and I struggled to break free. This makes me believe even more that horror films are demonic. I used to watch them until I realised that I had no business subjecting my mind and spirit to the very things God hates. And how messed up can a person’s mind be? The director and writer who chooses to create these films? Matthew 6:22-23 states:

“The lamp of the body is the eye; if therefore thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light. But if thine eye be evil, thy whole body shall be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in thee be darkness, how great is that darkness!”

Anyway, without speculating on all of that, I knew that there was power in the Name of Jesus and so I picked up my phone and began to play the Bible app. I lay awake for sometime, not exactly feeling frightened but a little in disbelief over what had happened. After I fell asleep, I slept well through the night.

My brother or sister, the point of me writing this to you is to help you understand that Hell gets angry when we get bold in the Lord. When I was a child and watched scary programmes like Doctor Who and woke up in the night scared. That was just a child that was scared because of what I’d watched. Nothing was happening in the spirit although I shouldn’t have been watching programmes that made me afraid and upset. When I backslid from Jesus at 18 years old, I began clubbing, drinking, hooking up, in wrong relationships and watching porn and horror films, the devil didn’t care. I wasn’t a threat to the Kingdom of God because I could talk about God all I wanted but my life didn’t match up to what I was saying. I wasn’t walking in the power of the Holy Spirit or in freedom because I was cheating on God with the things of the world. My housemates and University peers were not seeing me live my life very differently to them. I was being a hypocrite. But when I surrendered my fleshly lukewarm lifestyle at the foot of the Cross, my goodness that’s when things get serious. When you deny your flesh its desires, surrender them to God and allow Him to fill and satisfy you, this means war in the spirit realm. Isn’t it funny how it’s only since I started fasting, praying, making videos and writing about God that I have experienced these attacks. Because the devil knows that I am dangerous and that I am truly walking in power, crucifying sin at the Cross where my Saviour took the punishment I should have had. Acts 4:12:

“Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved.”

Published by

Helen

Professional Entertainer. Lover of all things musical theatre and artistic. Christian writer.

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